I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We have started to decorate penises.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize