i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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