Its about making memories worth repressing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
