So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
