Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
