you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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