Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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