Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
