I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
