he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
operation have a gay friend backfired
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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