Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize