We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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