She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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