They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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