Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
