Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
