do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
