Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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