my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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