He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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