finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
