you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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