my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just pee around me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
