What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
