i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
