Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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