I bet he comes in French.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
