I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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