Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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