i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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