I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
tell me about the eggs
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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