Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
