Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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