i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
