If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
