How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
