Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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