Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
