I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
