Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
