My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
