Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize