atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize