hotel room ftw
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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