I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
