i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
