I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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