I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
