I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
