hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
