What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My balls are so social today.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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