I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
