My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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