We won't sleep together?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
