i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
