I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
