I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Terrible idea I love it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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