ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
