made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
