Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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