apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
