Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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