3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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