Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
