Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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