i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
