If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
