Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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