i already hear my dad disowning me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
